Interestingly enough, social media has been a lifesaver for me as a new mom and during the time of COVID. While I do have friends and family I can always ask questions to, sometimes I feel like I ask too many and don’t want to be a bother. It’s nice to have another resource or point of contact. Also, as an introvert, I love having a way to connect that can be done at my own pace and time. It’s almost like the internet was made for introvert parenting!
Of course, it’s a fine line. People are always posting pictures of their perfect life and their perfect kids. That’s definitely not me – honestly, the hubs keeps the Goober better color coordinated than I do! I just don’t follow anybody that I think will make me feel bad about my situation or make me think I’m a bad mom.
On the flip side, it’s nice to know that there are people out there going through what I am. Being part of Postpartum Support International and hearing everybody else’s story was nice. It makes me feel like I’m not alone or crazy. Sometimes (and I feel a bit bad about this), there’s a “wow, I’m glad I’m not going through that” or “they have it so much worse” feeling too. Knowing I have a supportive partner when others don’t, and so on. As I started doing better, I do stop following them every day though, because I’ve found that constantly reading those stories sometimes brings me down. So I’ve learned what to avoid for my mental health.
Another group I love is Modern Asian Moms. Pretty self-explanatory. I love it because I feel like, as an Asian mom, I have certain experiences that’s hard to explain to others, such as the way I was raised or my relationship with my family. Another Asian would get it. Also, with my baby having different backgrounds (Asian and white), I worry about him – what he’ll face growing up, how to help him keep both parts of his culture and heritage equally, and more. This group and community has like minded people who help with sharing those concerns and giving advice. It’s also nice to have a safe place to ask questions like “are my breasts going to shrink again after nursing??” Yes, I have asked that. Thread blew up too..haha..a lot of empathizing and commiserating there. In my local friend group, I also don’t see a lot of mixed race couples, but there are in this group. It makes me feel a little better knowing that my son won’t be the only one out there. Logically, I knew that, but it was nice to “meet” others like us.
One other parenting related person I follow is Kristina Kuzmic. I love her because she just seems to talk about the not so pretty side of parenting and allow for different methods and ways. She isn’t there to talk about the best way to nurse or feed or anything, but to add humor to a tough job. Also, gotta love her motto “Mind Your Own Motherhood”! Wish I was brave enough to say that out loud to some people!
So, while the internet can be a scary, mean place, I’ve found a support system in it. So much gratitude to the moderators in those groups who ensure a safe space for the rest of us!
Miuzing 