Valentine’s day is next week, so obviously, relationships are on my mind. I’m not one to gush and cheese over my hubs (though he is the best!) or rave about my own relationship. Frankly, being in one takes a lot of work. I think it’s worth it, but you have to be with someone who’s willing to put in the work too.
I guess I’ve been thinking about it lately because my father-in-law (FIL) recently broke up with his live-in girlfriend of about 12 years. It’s really sad to see that happen, though truth be told, they didn’t have the healthiest of relationships, in my mind. I would’ve said “who knows? It might work for them” but it obviously didn’t, as the relationship is now over. A lot of their relationship is their business, so I don’t want to overshare (even over the anonymous internet), but there was one thing that always amazed me. They would get in fights and go DAYS without talking. Literal DAYS.
Everybody always says that communication is key to a relationship. I would agree to that, though as an introvert, it has always been my greatest weakness that I’ve had to work on in my relationships – talking about my feelings, especially when I’m upset. Luckily, the hubs had me working on it way early on in our relationship. Even then, under great stress and depression (like with postpartum), that broke apart and I/we regressed a little. We’re building back up though!
Anyways, I digress…so..communication being key, it was crazy to me that they wouldn’t even talk for days. Sometimes, you definitely need some time to cool off, but it seems so harmful to hold so much anger and resentment to not speak for days when you both live in the same house. As my hubs says, every issue takes both person, so it was definitely on both to deal with and tackle their problems – or to get help if they couldn’t do it themselves.
While breakups are sad, it just makes me appreciate what I have more and renews my determination to keep working on my communication skills. One conversation at a time!
Miuzing 