So, I’ve talked before about how I think my hubs and I have an unconventional relationship. One of the best things, in my mind, is not giving each other gifts!
I should clarify – we don’t usually get gifts for all the occasions that people would normally think – birthdays, Valentine’s day, Christmas, anniversaries, etc. At one point we did, but then discussed and decided that we wanted to save up for a nice gift once a year instead of a ton of smaller gifts. I think we decided on birthdays as the occasion. But once we were married and had shared finances, we decided to stop that too.
Don’t get me wrong – we still buy each other things just as a “I’m thinking of you”. But we don’t feel obligated to do it when everybody else does. And, man, it feels great – especially when everybody is stressing and complaining about trying to find gifts for their significant other for Valentine’s Day or whenever (sorry – not to bash on other relationships!). It just works for us. In lieu of that, we encourage and support the other in bigger purchases that the other person may not consider because they may think it’s selfish – regardless of when they want it.
Also, we make plans to do things together to celebrate instead. Valentine’s Day, birthdays, and anniversaries have always been all day events planned by the other person (we alternate planning for Valentine’s Day and anniversaries). They’re still special to us – but it’s because the other person is special, not because Hallmark or something else told us we have to celebrate. We also make it a rule to never celebrate on actual Valentine’s day – always the weekend before or after – because it gets too crowded and prices get inflated (I like to think we’re smart, not cheap!).
I know it’s not for everybody – a lot of people love getting (or giving) gifts. But it works for us!
Miuzing 