While I try not to be too sappy, I did want to do today’s post in honor of my mom. She has her faults – nobody’s perfect – but the sacrifices she’s made for our family and the lessons she’s passed on to my sister and me are invaluable, not to mention atypical for someone of her background and generation.
My mom (and dad) left Vietnam with pretty much nothing so that I could have a better life when I was three. She arrived in a country where she couldn’t speak the language and would stick out. While taking care of me, she got her associate’s degree again. I’ve never thought less of her for being a stay at home mom for my sister and me until my sister was in kindergarten. She taught us to read and write when we were younger – before school did. And she did it without any familial support because we were in a different state from everybody. Now that I’m a mom myself, I can truly understand how hard that was and appreciate her all the more.
One thing she never did, that I now appreciate and plan on doing with my daughter too (or not doing, as the case may be), was comment on our appearance growing up. Or maybe I was THAT bad looking..hah! But I think that even when other people made comments on how thin or tall we were, that maybe we could be models, or whatever else, my parents made sure to keep us from focusing on appearances too much. Another thing I appreciate was that she never forced me to wear dresses – which I hated growing up. You couldn’t find a picture of me smiling in a dress until I was a teenager! My mom loves dressing people up in girly clothes, but I love that she let me have my preferences and didn’t force me into things just because she wanted it.
There were also some things she instilled in my sister and me too. She told us that we needed to get good educations and jobs so that we didn’t need to rely on a husband to take care of us. In doing so, this means that we would always have our freedom in some ways. Now that I’ve met and heard stories of women in abusive relationships, I find this advice even more meaningful.
There’s also funny advice from my (supposedly) conservative mom – don’t have a boyfriend because once you choose one person, then the others won’t be trying to court you! Oh mom. Of all the things I thought you would say after “don’t have a boyfriend” – that wasn’t it.
But most importantly, what stands out to me, was when my mom took me aside during college and told me, “I don’t care what you choose to do. I just want you to be happy.” That touched me greatly, as at that time, I had no idea what I wanted to do and I had pressure from my dad to go into pharmacy (which I was pretty sure I didn’t want to do).
On International Women’s Day, there’s a lot of talk about women supporting women, and I feel that the first woman to support me and to continue to do so, was my mom.
Miuzing 