I read something the other day that really resonated. Paraphrasing because I can’t find it, but basically “Introverts are always told to get out of their comfort zone, but extroverts are never told to create a safe space for introverts.”
Look, I’m all about pushing boundaries a little bit – I think that’s how I can grow and better myself. For instance, my hubs told me that I should ask for things, whether it’s something small like asking for a redo when somebody messes up my order, or something that could help me at work. He says, “The worst they can do is say no.” While I’m super uncomfortable – I’d rather drink my messed up drink at Starbucks then be THAT person, I have tried here and there. I was able to get a training paid for at work that I wanted for professional development and career growth. I wrote to someone asking for help since one of their products was bad and got sent a new one. So there are definite benefits!
However, what I hate about “get out of your comfort zone” is, in my mind, the assumption that being outgoing (extroverted) is “normal” and what everybody should strive for. As an introvert, I actually don’t mind going places by myself, or *GASP* eating out by myself. I like the freedom and peace, as well as the chance to read while eating! Nobody ever tells extroverts to get out of THEIR comfort zone and sit quietly for a while.
The other part of that – a safe space for introverts, is so true. Even if I make an effort to have extensive conversations, I have to adjust to others. You know what happens when I ask, well, can I tell them that when so and so is so effusive, I’m uncomfortable? I get told, “they mean well! It’s how they express they care.” Basically – deal with it. What people don’t realize is it comes across as, “it doesn’t matter what you think or feel or your preference – it matters more what that person wants.” And it sucks. A lot. Especially if it’s a loved one telling you that. So, can’t there be a compromise? I can put up with some effusiveness, if maybe you temper your compliments and comments half the time? It’s not a safe space for me – I’m expected to put up with being uncomfortable because it’s what’s expected (by extrovert norms), and don’t I dare complain that someone is showing how they care for me.
Just food for thought. If you have someone in your life that’s introverted, consider ways that you can give them a safe space so that they’d be willing to “get out of their comfort zone.” Better yet, let them stay in their comfort zone and love them for who they are.
Miuzing 